Final Vice

I rebuilt myself
I kept the good
Dropped
*an anvil thud*
everything else

Almost.

I gave up dairy
and the smokes
the bourbon
at late night dives
the wine
while vacantly
watching
the telly
pisssssing
away
time

No more sweets
snacks
mid-afternoon donuts
as breakfast
and lunch
sometimes dinner

stopped talking
to the sociopathic
ex
listening
to their
false promises
drenched in
candy covered
shit

The Fair weather
friends
Whom I’ve bled for
While they never
broke a sweat
for
me

I let go
of my past
the mistakes
the self-loathing
the doubts
the hammering anxiety
at the weakening
bark
of my being

I did all of this.

*improvement*
*progress*
*growth*

But there’s still you.

lightly
Heavily
subtly
Obviously

Tearing it all apart.

Fleeting

Your head
resting still
upon my chest

dark brown hair
freshly washed
now dry
baby chick fuzz
against my fingertips

a hand
coarse
rough
gentle touch to
my arm

this moment
coming
and
already
vanishing

our bodies
tangled limbs
half open
lusting mouths

the pulsing
breathing
rhythm
of
this
fleeting
final
fuck

until the
next time

Time Stops For No One

I write to you…

“I am falling apart
My skin
is running loose
Can you see this?
I am getting old and it
is
showing

the lines around my eyes
they are so thin
and fine

the assassins of the
passing years
no longer
hiding
they have
been
adept
bastards

I have been running
running
running

Yet no amount of diversion
is keeping
time’s
patient
and skilled
murderous
taskmasters
at bay”

You read my letter
chuckle lightly
for
my vanity
is amusing

“We All Age”

There is no one
to hear my
whimpering pleas

I wither and wisp away
dust settling
on the
eaves

The Bottom

Drowning
Gasping
Swallowing gulps of
Desolation

I had a life jacket
Ripped it off
Was so
Constricting

It kept me from swimming

Who knew

I just needed to keep afloat

Now
Sinking to
The Depths

Eyes glazing
over
Pulse slowing
Heart faltering

I will never
See
The Sun Rise
or Set
Again

I did this to myself