Tag: love

Hello, Bukowski

~ CC ~ Leave a comment

There has always been something about Charles – something vulnerably depraved. An acknowledgement of one’s own vices without the saccharine syrup dripping lightly upon the tongue, prettily disguising the sour taste of truth. I can’t help but love a man who is honest to and about his self. *sigh*

Found this while reading. I usually stick with posting my own poetic musings, but how I wish, some time ago, someone would have written this for me. 🙂

when God created love He didn’t help most
when God created dogs He didn’t help dogs
when God created plants that was average
when God created hate we had a standard utility
when God created me He created me
when God created the monkey He was asleep
when God created the giraffe He was drunk
when He created narcotics He was high
and when He created suicide He was low

when He created you lying in bed
He knew what He was doing
He was drunk and He was high
and He created the mountains and the sea and fire
at the same time

He made some mistakes
but when He created you lying in bed
He came all over His Blessed Universe.

Bar America 2011

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I wanted wisdom
but the filmy eyed bar woman – missing teeth… loosened flesh
gave me a beer

I tipped it back
expecting answers

none came.

Laughter
Cigarettes
Patsy Cline

huh… he likes Patsy Cline

Another bottle emptied
And Willie sings to me

from the jukebox

On the road again

It’s all so sad.
So heart-wrenchingly painful

Going places that I’ve never been

But I swig another
I dance a little
I glance at the tiny grandmother – smiling – calling me a taxi

random thought –

I was not meant for beauty

But I happened to get a taste
For a moment

Seeing things that I may never see again

And it was better than the bottle after bottle
I’ve held to my lips

A stranger pays for my cab
A friend calls me from home
A bed catches my stupor

And all I can think about
is the old woman who handed me a drink
and asked how I was doing

“I’m doing fine.”

as always.

…. And I can’t wait to get on the road again

Joe and I

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7/14/07

I have these moments
I’m tempted to say yes
I know I shouldn’t

The answer should be no.

But I can’t.

The lure of contentment
starts swallowing at my feet

I am slipping in
Being enveloped by the serene
peace
Of escape

And as each powdered trail
vanishes
– oh you know –

The blurring of reality
Becomes that much more dim

And I read you my poetry
You run your fingers across my bass
Tapping lightly
Squinting against the rising
Of another sun

Discussion of past transgressions
We are falling
But sitting still
Finding ourselves
In each other

The sunlight shocks
Some semblance
of Sense
Into our Self-constructed
Clouded
Sphere

The two high school
sweethearts
Now grown
Alone
And Broken

Pain in your voice
Agony in my heart

Let’s run away again
Down
That
Fuzzy
White
Trail

But the Sun is so bright

And you start to sing

“Beautiful girl…. stay with me…”

The night was long
And fell short

I want to burn bright like the sun.
That won’t happen.

I am already a pile of ash.

8 Years Ago

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7/13/07

I think perhaps there is more to this
Than just a quick illicit stolen kiss
Yet, still my nights are spent without you
Some other human taking your place

And while you lay in your woman’s arms
I lure any others with my own charms
Still, I’m longing to hold just you
Your beautiful body
Gift of grace

So with great patience goes another day
Losing the struggle to keep lust at bay
And I yearn for the touch of you
But mostly, just the sight of your face

You’ll never truly belong to me
I will most likely take my leave
Though my heart surrendered to you
Clarity is crisp
This is not my Place

moth to the flame

~ CC ~ 1 Comment

He looked at her
as though she was the only one in the room
in the building
in the existence of mankind

She knew that look
and she felt weary
The last person she told
to not fall in love with her

did

She felt some part
of her spirit
sag

She wasn’t beautiful
perhaps attractive
She wasn’t successful
she managed to get by

She wasn’t a lot of things
but the life
she had lived
felt
seen
experiences
of varying extremes
lay idly and apparent
in her eyes

Maybe that’s what it was
Man’s base instinct
to either protect
or prey

She was smarter than the predators
Unfortunately
sympathetic to the ones who wished
to protect

She smiled at him
and with sadness buried deep
where only she could find it
thought to herself

here we go again

The Real Question

~ CC ~ Leave a comment

When all is said and done

when my fingers are stuck

curled and crippled

in clawed curvature

aged and arthrithic

 

when my breasts

flesh flattened and flaccid

hang and droop

tumbling out against

my wrinkled waist

 

when my eyes

clouded and closed

squinting up and away

barely grasping images

too youthful

too fast

too unknown

 

when every aspect

of my physical being

is falling into disrepair

has become completely

and utterly

unattractive

 

When my mind is a junkyard

full with bits of broken memories

imagined slights

pockets of mucked mire

where all fond remembrances

have drowned and disappeared

pits of putrescence

where once

was living thought

 

When all is said and done

in our life

 

This life

which we are sharing

 

Will you still stand by my side?