I still miss you
but not the You
which is now
what has always 
been

I miss the You
who looked at me 
like a newly budded
flower
on a seemingly dying cactus

though I was always
very much alive

but I liked it
the awe
the adoration

so I let it pass

I miss the You
who believed in betterment
of self

even if 
somewhat unwilling

and it perplexed me
a moment
but I allowed it
a slight
stumbling block

I miss the You
who never meant 
or ever wanted
to hurt me
 
though you did

and I let it happen
because I saw potential 

galaxies we could rule
instead of the handful
of stars
which to you
seemed sufficient

I miss the You
who I knew you could be
The Universe
The All
The Everlasting

Therein lies the rub

I don't miss You.

I miss the idea
of a You.

you were never going to be 
You

you...

were only a 
fabrication 
of my heart's fantastical 
ideals.