Pretty

"We can't help that we are pretty."
"You have known this all your pretty self."
"You have been granted leniency in life because you look the way you do."

i am pretty?

i would think
i would have known this
were it the case

in fairy tales
in movies
in life
pretty
is saved
pretty
is revered
pretty 
is respected

i am not 
nor have I ever been
pretty

pretty has leniency.

the old mans
hands
shriveled fingertips
nicotine stained
rough and peeling
pretending a game
up my timid
and frightened
5 year old thighs
i should say no
but this is only a game 
and i want to be a good girl

Leniency

the friend
of an uncle
who is "family"
beer breath against my neck
scratchy scruff scraping
my cheek
in a whisper...
I
Am
Becoming
Such 
A 
Beautiful
Young
Woman

and my 13 yo self
wants to kick him
in his gross hairy
everywhere
and run away
BUT

i want to be a good girl

Leniency

the entitled groping
ass slaps
tit grabs
forced 
wet
sloppy
lustful
hopeful
kisses
against unwilling flesh
while 
i
play dead
nerves flinching
muscles contracting
an anxious 
stifled spasm
of my soul

i want this to end
i am not
feeling
pretty

no

pretty has leniency

i am the malformed monster
seeking refuge
in the dark