July 3rd and I can’t sleep

I miss them all

despite the tears
broken words spilling out 
into the vacuum of indifference
guttural cries
in the dark
alone

the cat dismayed
at such overly dramatic displays
of the 
Once Again
coupled with the
I'll Never Learn

i do miss them

not with the longing
of what is lost forever
nor the sentimentality
of all the previous love's 
hazy rosy eyed gazes

i miss the moments
that were brand new
sparkling
gleaming like chrome
before familiarity
before we disappointed
one another
when we were
unreal
not of this realm
this mortal plane
no
we were
celestial beings
odd outsiders
crazy puzzle pieces
fitting in a way
quite unlike
the others
i miss the stars
in our smiles
i miss the way
a small touch could set
our skin on fire
i miss the quiet breathing
of sleep
next to my awake
the songs we hummed to
the conversations 
during
long rainy afternoons
i miss
the hops in our laughter
every day being a better day
because we were in it

together

i find i miss them most
during the quiet nights
my solitude,
my haven
the silence
reminds me
that i am alone

so
i miss them
those who took my time,
my space, 
my love,
and nurtured it
until it was no longer
worth the effort
yet
i am made only that 
much more aware

i miss the Me
i always was
in the beginning
the most

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