the wheels
have been put
into motion
as the night goes long
and my fingers fidget
i laugh
small
short
soft
i've no ring to pawn
pass on
tuck away in a small box
pushed to the back of a drawer
to be forgotten
until it is remembered
during sad
solitary
sauvignon nights
no
so
contemplation continues
there was never
a proposal
the 'big rock" moment
joyous tears
speech impeding shock
the announcement
and following picture
to the circle of friends
oohing and aahing
the phone call
to parents
sharing the same
jubilant
surprise
no
just an obligatory acceptance
of wedding
the mother
of his
children
i would like to think
he loved me
i would like to believe
i was more than a
live-in maid
nanny
chef
personal assistant
i would like to hope
that it wasn't all for
naught
yet
i don't
i can't
i won't
instead
i will keep
churning the crank
operating the
cold
and tired
machine
rickety yet
integral to
and capable of
shattering
the shackles
which once
bound me
to him
But Otherwise Fine 